


a whole bloody mess

by LtTanyaBoone



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9671873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: "Dax’s previous hosts know rejection, know it well, and Jadzia isn’t entirely sure why on earth they’d agree with something that was bound to get the next one in line heartbroken. The one she decides to blame it on is Curzon. He’s always had a masochist streak."Jadzia's feelings for Kira.





	

It’s complicated. Complicated, complicated, complicated.

Jadzia lets out a slow breath and shakes her head before reaching for her glass. Perhaps getting more than a little drunk at Quark’s isn’t the brightest idea she’s ever had. But in her defense, it hadn’t started like this. She hadn’t come here to get smashed. Just to have a nice drink and enjoy some company, and then... things had happened and she’d lost track of time and how much synthol she’d consumed, leaving her leaning onto the bar heavily.

Things used to be easier. A lot easier, actually, before she’d been joined. Not that she regretted that decision, certainly not. There were just some things that even the extensive preparation given to applicants failed to really prepare her for.

Sometimes, it’s hard for her to figure out her own thoughts and feelings. She struggles to make sense of some impulses and knows they’re not hers, not Jadzia’s, but Dax’s, transferred by the symbiont from one of its previous hosts. Most of the time, she doesn’t mind. She can control herself, and in some ways, those impulses, when she goes along with them, lead to a strange sense of calm. She orders bloodwine sometimes, and part of her relishes the way the liquid slips down her throat. She plays music in her quarters and dances to it at other times, her body following through motions she’d previously been unaware of. It leaves behind a relaxed state of mind and she’s made it a habit after a particularly stressfull day at work. She goes on the holodeck and fiddles with old tech at other times, her mind going blank as she disassembles circuits and tries to improve stuff. It doesn’t matter if she manages to actually get something done in that regard, she always leaves the holosuites feeling accomplished and with a slight spring in her step that probably makes people think she was up to something else entirely up there.

Other times, she knows perfectly well that these are her thoughts, that Jadzia is thinking and feeling these things. And then Dax will offer their opinion and it leaves her screaming in frustration inside her own head at how confusing that gets.

Like right now. Right now, she is getting drunk because she cannot make those goddamn voices shut up.

It started out as a normal day. Well, normal as can be, on this station. She’d worked with the Chief on some recalibration of the sensors and they’d tested them extensively before going to Major Kira to make their reports and show her the improvements.

Dax knows that the other woman didn’t do it on purpose. She probably didn’t even realize how close she leaned in until Dax turned her head and when she spoke, literally exhaled right into the Major’s face. It had made Kira turn her head and then straighten, putting some distance between their faces. But the damage, so to speak, had been done, and the short encounter had left her battling conflicting feelings and thoughts for the remainder of her shift, until it had driven her straight to Quark’s after.

Jadzia has always been attracted to women. She knows that. It is one truth no one will be able to take away from her, one certainty she has of her own likes before becoming joined. Before adding an entire host of likes and dislikes to her own. Or well, actually, the likes and dislikes of seven previous hosts, if we were to get into it. Which, sometimes, do conflict with each other. Like, Curzon hated sleeping in, he was an early riser, and she herself can lounge in bed all day if it is her day off. Dax often lets her know that there is part of them that loathes doing nothing, and in the end, Jadzia ends up getting up with a sigh after a few hours and does something productive, just to appease that nagging sense of having to accomplish something today.

She wonders, however, if it is really her being attracted to the Major. Curzon approves, she can feel that, clear as day. The quick flashes she had previously, when the other woman was particularly close, told her as much. Those certainly were not Jadzia’s own, even if she wouldn’t have objected to following through with them, necessarily.

That is the thing, though, isn’t it? The thing she’s currently struggling with, the reason why she is nursing her fourth (or is it fifth?) drink of the evening. That these thoughts are hers, now, only they also aren’t. They feel foreign to her, yet at the same time, she feels compelled to spend a moment considering going through with them.

Jadzia, before being joined, would be mortified at the thought of starting anything with a superior officer. Now, she isn’t. The thought briefly crossed her mind, that Major Kira and her are not on equal grounds when it comes to command structure, but she quickly dismissed it. It didn’t feel important to her. Or the overwhelming part of her, rather.

With a sigh, she reaches up and pinches the bridge of her nose.

Curzon would like to have sex with Major Kira. Jadzia would like to take her out, kiss her. Maybe sleep with her, she isn’t so sure if she really wants that, too, or if it is Curzon’s presence influencing her own judgment and desires. Tobin keeps shifting uncomfortably at the thought of anything of that nature, and Emony watches the Major with a fascination that is entirely born out of her natural grace and an appreciation of her agility.

It’s a right mess, and her head hurts trying to somehow sort through all this. Perhaps she should have just told Julian she was interested in him after all. But that would have been a lie, wouldn’t it? As far as she can remember, the way Jadzia had been interested in men before being joined had been in a curiosity kind of a way, in a ‘looking for a friend’ kind of way. Sure, she’d kissed some, when she’d been younger (‘You’re three hundred years old.’ - ‘When Jadzia had been younger.’ she clarifies in her thoughts, the headache building further), but that had been more instances of her being kissed than her initiating the contact herself. When she had, it had been done because she’d run out of things to say and hadn’t had the first clue about how to express herself, hoping that the guy would figure it out when he realized how little those kisses meant or did for her.

No, the interest she has in Julian is one rooted in friendship, and purely that. She appreciates his company, appreciates his wide-eyed fascination of looking at the world. Appreciates his youthfulness, as it reminds her of Jadzia’s own age. But there is no romantic inclination towards him from her whatsoever. It would have been cruel, to lead him on.

Which leads her right back to where she started. The whole big mess and tangle of her feelings and thoughts of Major Kira, a lot of which border on downright inappropriate. She can attempt to tell the symbiont to cut it out as many times as she likes, that does not mean she won’t be pestered by inappropriate flashes and fragments of ideas while in duty. She’s tried that, already.

“Oh, bother,” she mutters and downs the remainder of her drink before getting up to make the way back to her quarters. She’s thankful for her own athletic past, and Emony’s grace, as they both combine to more or less steer her sucessfully back down the corridors of the stations. She does bump into a bulkhead or two, but that’s when she’s already out of sight of people.

Her quarters still don’t really feel like home to her. Whenever she opens the door, she expects to find a replica of her previous living arrangements, before she became joined. Things have changed since then. There are things in her room that Jadzia never would have dreamed of adding to the furnishings, but Dax did, in order to create a sense of home for itself and its past hosts. One of these days, Jadzia really has to figure out of all this stuff is really necessary. For now, though, all she is interested in is falling face-first into her pillow and forget about whatever thoughts she’s been having of Major Kira.

* * *

Curzon. Jadzia decides that he is responsible for the masochist idea of her becoming Kira’s friend.

Not that she did much objecting, she just followed the impulse of being closer to the other woman. Before she realized how messy that was bound to get. In the past, it had been easier, suppressing her feelings and moving on. Plenty of women Jadzia had been interested in hadn’t had any interest in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with her. Some of them, she managed to stay friends with after a rather awkward revelation. Others it would have been to painful with. Dax’s previous hosts know that feeling, know it well, and Jadzia isn’t entirely sure why on earth they’d agree with something that was bound to get the next one in line heartbroken. The one she decides to blame it on is Curzon. He’s always had a masochist streak.

She can count on one hand the number of times she’s seen the Major cry. One finger, actually. Which is when she is standing in the door to Dax’s quarters, tears spilling from her eyes, and Dax all but drops the PADD she’s holding to hug her and pull her close and tell her it is okay as Kira tenses in her arms.

It is a strange sight, so see someone who projects so much strength unravel so completely. Jadzia watches in fascination for a few moments before she pulls herself back from this strange sort of detachment. This is her friend, and her friend feels miserable and needs her. So she asks the replicator for a warm mug of herbal tea (Audrid’s favorite, she remembers with a jolt after already having ordered it) and carefully hands it to Kira, along with another tissue.

“It shouldn’t bother me,” the other woman mutters, drawing her knees up unil her feet rest on the edge of Dax’s couch. Jadzia joins her, chosing to sit at the other end of it. Some distance between them seems appropriate. The hug earlier had caused a thought or two entire uncalled for, given the current situation. And really, Kira is not the sort of person who allows physical closeness, or hovering.

“But it does,” Dax simply observes, watching the other woman as she frowns into the mug, looking for answers.

“He was a Cardassian.”

“Is that what is bothering you?” she asks outright, and Kira’s head snaps up to meet her gaze. “That you feel sorry for a Cardassian?”

The Major hesitates. She blinks, looks away. White teeth flash as she bites her lip briefly, deep in thought.

“Maybe,” she allows, finally. “Months ago, I would have been glad to see another one of them dead. Now...” she trails off briefly and shakes her head. “He was innocent. He didn’t deserve to die,” she mutters, pressing her hand over her mouth briefly. Jadzia watches and wonders if this is the first time she’s said those words aloud. Probably, given her reaction. Kira shudders and clenches her eyes shut, shifting uncomfortably.

“No, he didn’t,” she allows herself to say in agreement. It is strange, feels foreign to her. This rage Kira has, this absolute hatred for an entire species. Then again, Dax has never been in her shoes, even in over three hundred years of living. She’s never experienced anything like the Bajor Occupation firsthand. If she had, perhaps she would get this unbridled hatred. She can understand the reasons for it well enough, but the strength of those emotions, it still surprises her.

Kira takes a sip of her tea and swallows thickly before looking around slowly. It hits Jadzia then that the other woman’s never been in her quarters before. She hasn’t been to Kira’s either. Their shared time has been confined to public places until now, or the semi-public of the holodeck, or the professional setting of the roundabouts.

“Your place...” she starts but cuts herself off.

“Is a mess?” Jadzia offers, a humorous lilt to her voice. Kira snaps her head around to look at her in surprise. “It’s okay,” she tells her quickly. “I agree with you. I just haven’t found the time yet to figure out what is really necessary and what needs to go," she tells her, wondering if she is crossing a line. They only talk about themselves in the broadest of terms with each other. Barely share any relevant information about their current thoughts and feelings and struggles with each other. There’s mindless, unimportant chatter, but that is mostly to fill the silence between them. What both of them seem to be looking for in each other is female companionship, and Dax wonders if that might not be possible, if they know each other better and understand just how different they are from each other.

Kira swallows and looks around again, a slight frown on her face.

“I think I like it,” she allows after a few moments. “It has character.”

At that, Jadzia cannot help but let out a bark of laughter.

“I will remember that, next time I trip over something in the dark,” she chuckles, and sees Kira’s lips quirk into the ghost of the tiniest smile for a brief moment. Jadzia watches her before she gets up and grabs herself a mug of the same herbal tea. Her nerves are starting to show and if memory serves correctly, this concoction always managed to calm Audrid down. Perhaps it will help Dax’s new host now.

“Thank you,” Kira mutters when Dax has gotten comfortable again. She watches the Major silently, raising an eyebrow in silent question. It’s up to her if she wants to elaborate, if she doesn’t, well, Dax can figure it out. Three hundred years is a long time, she knows a thing or two about what makes people tick.

“For, letting me in. And not judging me,” the other woman adds, her voice uncharacteristically soft and halting. Jadzia frowns before she shrugs.

“It is not my place,” she tells her. “To judge, I mean,” Jadzia adds when Kira gives her a confused look. “I cannot begin to understand what you, what all of Bajor, had to endure under the Cardassians. I mean, I have read the reports,” she continues on at Kira’s incredulous expression, “but they are reports. Impersonal, in a way. There is nothing Dax has experienced that comes even close to...” Jadzia trails off, making a wide gesture. “And we are friends. Friends listen to each other, and they don’t judge. And if we are being completely honest, I am actually, proud, of you.”

Too much, a voice screams in her head (or her belly? No, her head, definitely her head, judging by the sudden headache that is settling behind her eyes). Way too much, for someone like Kira.

“Proud?” the other woman frowns. Jadzia hesitates. Dax insists on backpedaling. She’s said too much, Kira isn’t ready, not yet, not for this sort of conversation. Their friendship is not, either, it is still too new, too fresh, too fragile. It will break if she tells her. But if there is one thing Kira deserves, it is honesty, and Jadzia has always been a believer in that.

“Within what? A year? You have gone from wanting to kill every Cardassian in sight to realizing their humanity. That is huge. It is something to be proud of, Kira,” Jadzia tells her and watches with a soft sigh as Kira stands and sets down the cup loudly before she begins pacing the room restlessly. The blanket Jadzia handed her earlier is still draped over her shoulders, trailing behind her. Dark green, Torias’ finds it comforting, hence why she picked it.

“What if I don’t want that?” she asks, her words clipped, shoulders tense with anger. “What if I don’t want to see their humanity? What if I want to go back to wanting to kill every single one of them?”

“But you don’t,” Jadzia points out as the other woman whirls around to glare at her. She sets her own cup down and leans foward a little, resting her arms on her knees. “It would be so much easier, I get that. But that wouldn’t be you.”

“You don’t know me,” Kira snaps. They both recoil from her words. Jadzia sees the surprise and shock on the other woman’s face, knows it mirrors her own before she manages to school her expression and allows a small nod.

“You’re right, I don’t,” she tells her, careful to keep any hint of how much those words just hurt from her voice.

“Dax-”

“It’s fine,” she cuts off Kira’s... whatever. Probably an attempt at an apology, but truth be told, neither Jadzia nor Dax want to hear that, right now. The other woman’s words were a painful but welcome reminder of the line between them, the one that Jadzia already crossed earlier. If anything, she is almost thankful that Kira re-drew it; that she reminded Jadzia of its existence.

“No, I am s-”

“It is nineteen hundred hours, Jadzia.”

She almost jumps at the sound of the computer’s voice filling the room. A brief frown, wondering why it is giving her the time, before she remembers she promised Julian to read over the paper he wrote. The poor guy was so nervous about sending it off to Starfleet that she took pity on him and offered to go over it together to make any necessary adjustments.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes at Kira’s confused look. “I promised Julian I would help him with something,” she starts and before she can get any further than that, Kira is already pulling off the blanket and folding it neatly before she places it on the table in front of the couch. Putting it back on the couch itself would mean getting closer to Jadzia, something the other woman’s body language suggests is not currently a pleasant thought.

“Thank you. For the tea,” the Major tells her, words clipped, before giving a curt nod and seeing herself out.

In another life, she would have called after her. Might have even run after the other woman. Grabbed her wrist and made her listen. Jadzia wants to do that, right now, wants to race down those corridors and make Kira understand that it was never her intention to hurt her, that she regrets pushing her, that she values their friendship above all else. But Dax knows better than to attempt anything like this, not right now at least. The Bajoran isn’t ready to hear any of it, right now.

* * *

Her entire body is throbbing with a dull pain when she opens her eyes again. And flinches immediately at the bright lights of sickbay.

“Easy there,” Julian mutters as he gently guides her into a sitting position. She has her mouth open to ask him what happened, but then she remembers the roundabout and the field of debris and getting hit by something...

“My head hurts,” she tells him, wondering why on earth her voice sounds so meek. She reaches up and presses the heel of her hand against her temple, the throbbing headache pulsing in her brain dimming somewhat at the gesture.

“That is to be expected. You took a pretty nasty hit and were knocked out. Major Kira managed to get the roundabout back in one piece, though.”

She nods, silently, and gives him a pathetic look that has him reaching for his medical tricorder. Dax makes sure to flinch at the loud beeping and then lets out a reluctant sigh when Julian offers her something for the pain before she accepts, seemingly reluctantly.

The doors to sickbay open just as he releases the hypospray and Jadzia flinches, having turned her head and thus causing the angle to change as the medication goes into her body.

“Sorry,” Julian mutters and she shakes her head, the painful fog already beginning to clear from her head.

“My fault,” she tells him, jumping from the medical bed. He reaches out to stop her from striding out of sickbay altogether, his tricorder beeping as he monitors her body’s reaction to the medication.

“If your headache returns, see me immediately,” he tells her.

“When does the medication wear off?” she asks him, wanting to make a mental note when to expect the pain back so she will not bother him unnecessarily.

“Your headache should be gone when it does, if it isn’t, you need to see me. Immediately,” he informs her again. Dax doesn’t fail to notice that he does not give her a time frame. Huh. Clever doctor, he’s starting to learn. Pity, really, that she had to be the one to experience his progress, Jadzia thinks.

“Are you alright?”

Part of her wants to close her eyes and let out a deep groan. Dax’s stellar self-control stops her from doing so, though, so Jadzia merely turns her head to finally acknowledge Major Kira’s presence.

“Major,” Bashir greets the other woman, watching Dax carefully. “She should be fine,” he tells her and Dax turns a glare on the younger man. “Just a leftover headache, which I’ve taken care of just now.”

“Are you sure?” Kira presses and this time, Jadzia does roll her eyes.

“I am fine,” she tells them, both of them, before pushing past Julian and grabbing her uniform jacket to put it back on. And realizing that the left arm is riddled with holes and dried blood. Oh.

“Your new communicator badge,” Kira says and holds it out to her. Jadzia hesitates before taking it, wondering briefly what happened to the old one. And then deciding she doesn’t want to know. She pins it to her uniform shirt, giving the other woman a wry smile. The Major watches her, tilts her head slightly as she scrutinizes her face.

“Am I cleared for duty?” Jadzia asks, turning her attention to Julian, who in turn frowns slightly.

“Uh,” he stammers, taken off-guard for a moment. “I want you to take the next 48 hours off. Get some rest, make sure your headache doesn’t come back...” he trails off at her new glare. To Jadzia’s surprise, Major Kira nods, an expression on her face she cannot quite read.

“Thank you, Doctor,” she says and motions towards the door. “I will accompany you to your quarters.”

“I know the way. I haven’t hit my head that hard, you know,” Jadzia quips, changing her hold on the ruined uniform jacket.

“Humor me,” Kira adds and there is something in her voice that makes Jadzia sober instantly. She inclines her head and allows herself to be escorted from sickbay. They make it halfway down the corridor before she speaks.

“So, how long exactly was I out?” she asks and feels Kira tense beside her.

“Twelve hours, give or take,” she answers, an edge to her voice. “Bashir didn’t want to wake you before he’d tended to your cuts and burns. Make sure you wouldn’t be in any pain when you woke up,” she informs her. Jadzia raises her left hand, examines the skin on it. There is an area where her skin seems a little lighter, an effect Dax is familiar with, having used a dermal regenerator countless of times before. Oh.

“I must have given you quite a fright,” she jokes. To her surprise, Kira lets out a shuddering breath.

“You have no idea,” she mutters, causing Jadzia to pause in her steps. Kira does the same after a moment and turns to her with a questioning look on her face. She hesitates, wondering, but Dax tells her it is alright to go with her gut instinct here, so Jadzia reaches out and takes her hand, giving Kira’s a tight squeeze.

“I’m okay,” she simply tells her. Keeps the pressure on the other woman’s hand steady as Kira closes her eyes, a shudder running through her. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, just returns the pressure. When she opens her eyes, Jadzia realizes with surprise that there are tears swimming in them, though Dax is not surprised.

“I am glad to hear it,” Kira mutters, attempting a smile, but it ends up more a pained grimace. So much loss, Jadzia thinks. So much pain in so short a life. Too much, perhaps even more than Dax has had too endure in three hundred years. Way too much.

Jadzia smiles back, increasing the pressure briefly before she slowly lets go of Kira’s hand and starts walking again. She doesn’t mention that it takes the other woman three or four steps before she catches up with her again. And neither does she mention the fact that she keeps feeling Kira’s hand brush hers as they make their way down the corridors. But she has to admit that the knowledge of her presence is not an unwelcome one.

* * *

Jadzia leans back, blinking open her eyes.

Kira stares at her, completely dumbfounded, her mouth slightly agape, lips moist from the kiss.

A lump settles in her throat and Jadzia swallows painfully as she searches for the right words to say. She doesn’t want to apologize. She doesn’t regret leaning in to kiss Kira, certainly not. She does, however, feel bad about making the other woman feel uncomfortable.

“What did you do that for?” Kira asks, and Jadzia realizes with a start that there is a slightly hoarse quality to her voice. She tilts her head slightly before she gives a shrug.

“No reason,” she answers finally. “I just, wanted to.”

“You wanted to, kiss me?” Kira inquires and it takes everything in her for Dax not to roll her eyes at the Bajoran. She’s so young, so incredibly young, even if she is old beyond her years.

“Yes,” Jadzia replies and reaches up to brush her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry, I should not have...” she starts and then remembers her previous thought. No apologies for the kiss, just the result. “I should have realized it would make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

Kira blinks, once, twice, silent with her mouth slightly open. She could throw her out. That she hasn’t already strikes Jadzia as something of a miracle, almost, given that they are in Kira’s quarters.

“Why?”

Dax frowns at the question.

“Why what?” she asks, not understanding.

“Why did you want to kiss me?” Kira clarifies and takes a step back, her arms crossing in front of her chest. Jadzia notices how tight the hold is and flinches. She did this. She made Kira uncomfortable. She probably should leave...

She takes a step back, and another, putting more distance between them. Hoping to communicate wordlessly that she is not a threat to Kira. She won’t kiss her again, she’s learned her lesson already, no danger from her in that regard.

“I,” she starts, frowning at herself. She knows she has wanted to kiss Kira, wanted it for a long time. But why? “I, felt like it,” she says finally, a soft frown appearing on her face as she tries to puzzle out the answer to that question. Kira is attractive, she’s a desirable woman, and Jadzia has been attracted to her for such a long time that she isn’t quite sure when she first thought about kissing her, and why that happened.

“Yes, but...” Kira frowns and gives a hard shake of her head. “I mean, why me? Why now?”

“Because,” Jadzia starts and finds that the answer yet again seems to elude her. Okay, slow down, Dax. What happened, to make you lean in. “Your lips looked so soft,” she hears herself saying and feels how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

“My lips looked soft,” Kira repeats stupidly and this time, Jadzia does close her eyes, though she refrains from hitting herself over the head, repeatedly, for her own stupidity.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, “I just... I know I shouldn’t have, I made you uncomfortable, I-”

“I didn’t say that.”

Oh.

OH!

“You didn’t?” she repeats and blinks at the Bajoran, her head beginning to hurt. Too much going on. Curzon screams at her to grab her and kiss her again, Tobin is hiding his face in his hands and whispers for her to leave, leave, LEAVE, Audrid is frowning and no help at all, and Jadzia has no idea what in the stars is happening while Dax is chuckling to themselves.

“I, I didn’t know...” Kira starts and trails off, making a vague gesture in Jadzia’s direction. She frowns, trying to figure out what she’s saying.

“Didn’t know... that I’m attracted to women?” she realizes finally and watches as Kira swallows and then gives a curt nod.

“It’s, being joined, the symbiont-”

“No,” Jadzia cuts her off quickly, the word loud and harsh between them. Kira blinks at her in surprise. “No,” she says again, softer this time. Because she needs her to understands, needs Kira to know that this has nothing to do with being joined. Without Dax, Jadzia still would have found her attractive. Perhaps she wouldn’t have acted on those feelings, but they would have been there, anyway, Jadzia doesn’t doubt that now. “Before Dax, I... my previous relationships, they’ve all been with women. The serious ones, anyway,” she ammends at Kira’s sceptical look. “Nothing to do with being joined. Jadzia’s always been attracted to women, and Dax... gender doesn’t matter to symbionts.”

Kira swallows again and slowly nods.

“I see,” she says, but the frown she’s wearing is telling otherwise. Dax wonders if she should point it out, but decides against it. She can’t make sense of her feelings herself sometimes, she certainly doesn’t expect someone else to puzzle it out.

“Look,” she starts and frowns and then shakes her head. “I’m, confused,” she allows, and to her surprise, Kira gives an enthusiastic nod at her words.

“Me, too,” she admits. “I mean, I... I have never...” she trails off, a soft blush coloring her cheeks.

“Oh,” Jadzia breathes. But, didn’t she just say-

“But I, think I want to?” Kira says, though it does sound more like a question as she frowns to herself. “With you,” she adds, lifting her eyes to meet Jadzia’s. “I think I want to, kiss. You. Again. I think I really want to kiss you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Kira repeats stupidly. She has stopped hugging herself, her hands have fallen to rest at her sides. Suddenly, Jadzia realizes that she wasn’t supposed to respond to Kira’s statement, not with words, anyway.

So she slowly crosses the space between them and searches the other woman’s face. Reaches up very slowly and brushes the back of her hand over Kira’s cheek.

“Okay,” she breathes as she leans in for a second time, brushing her lips over Kira’s in a soft caress. Kira is tense and still before Jadzia leans back. Then she follows the motion, leaning into Jadzia, her hands reaching out to take hold of the Trill’s elbows, keesp her from further withdrawing. Kira’s lips move, slightly, and Jadzia feels a shudder run through her at the softness, at the delicacy of the kiss, their lips barely brushing before Kira increases the pressure and her mouth opens and Jadzia allows herself to kiss back in earnest. Carefully, her hand finds Kira’s neck to pull her in further, her other hand settling on her hip as she feels Kira’s hands leave her arms and settle on her back, pulling Jadzia in.

Jadzia's final coherent thought is the question why she hasn't done this a lot sooner.

_fin._


End file.
